Court Jester, King’s Fool
by the Fool
Worried?
Talk about your delusions of grandeur. Napoleon, Hitler, Alfred E. Neuman, they got nothing on me. But just look at those names. You can tell they’re made up.
I’ve got some pen names myself, one of which is Jess Turcorte. Apparently the idea was—half man, half woman would be interesting? Or is that man and woman together in one body, one flesh, only not married? Half the people half this way this, three-quarters the other? Or am I getting mixed up while pretending a more imaginative gender?
Whatever. You know ...that image project you started on with Adam and Eve.... Did you want it to stay that way? Am I understanding right? If our bodies were our own, we'd keep them forever young not die, not get hit by a bus? Are you—or Somebody—saying we own our own imaginations, our own wills, just not our own bodies?
Anyway, what’s in a name, made up or otherwise, when there’s like, what?—twice as many, four times as many people on earth now as when I shoved out of the womb? (Couldn’t believe it!—What’s with all the lights?) And I got here—how? Of course I wasn’t going to find out for a few years. Thanks for keeping that secret from me for a while. Finding it out would have made crawling back into the womb just that much more appealing—and I might still have fit…er
You’ve got a sense of humor. Obviously why you’ve got so many fools. —And came up with sex. But come on! Is that all you could come up with to create several billions??
I don’t know which is more ludicrous, sex or several billions. When You think of past generations, and adding them all up—head-spin! Was your plan to give them all the vote? Please don’t go making any more sun-spawned worlds, either. We’ve got KEPLER now, and the spacey Gaia, so we know what You’ve been up to, blizzarding the universe with countless subatomic particles, nebulas, stars, galaxies, et al..
I realize it’s probably too late for that particular request. But couldn’t you figure out how to keep the populations of these worlds down? Something to crowd out the sex? That hyper-drive is killing us. Then these jerks named Napoleon, Hitler, and Alfred E. Neuman think they can deal with the problem and ... well, it’s just painful. And they don’t even seem to know any better. So you gave them egos? (I presume) but, if they’d known what we’d all be saying about them in a few years’ time might—things might have been different? Really, what were You thinking? Naturally, out of billions, some of us are bound to complain.
It’s got more to do with uproarious absurdity than anything. Where the heck did that come from?—Sex?—Idiotic. You’re still like a kid in a candy store. Couldn’t you at least give us some morals to go along with that?
(Pregnant pause)
…Oh.
Well, we seem to have forgotten. Better get busy on that again?
And another thing. These ga-Zillions of pristine cold individual flakes symmetrically designed, just pouring and pouring out our winter skies. You really got interested, at one point, in that glacier-building, accretion thing didn’t you? All this snow. I mean come on. We’re almost more than halfway through March! Spring is almost here! (According to the calendar.) And some of us are sick with the fever. Not Spring fever. Cabin fever. (Can’t walk? Pen talks.)
So, about that snowflake-removal.
You know, if the cosmos were a democracy? —You’d be out on your ear.
EXTREMELY WORRIED